A new journey

All praised to HIM

Greetings everyone

1st November 2016

I learnt a lot along the time that I left this blog

I drafted few entries but left unsaid :P

Sorry, I don't write well much eceh

25th October 2016

This is a story about my convocation

I am all happy that I finally graduated

I am so damn happy that I don't realize that I made it

I am so so so happy that Allah still give me a chance to feel this

Thanks to all warm wishes and dua'

Thank you for those who came

Thank you for my family who waited for long for the ceremony

I cried when "UITM DI HATIKU" song played

been wanting to feel the feeling of having convocation

when I am in, IDK what to feel

Years of journey

Many friends come and go

A lot of memories created along the way

Then

I lead the story to my journey with working environment

I never thought to have a chance to get the opportunity

Being able to work with an 'old' company

and in a position that I never thought that I will even sit

I know , I have to do well to show my appreciation

Now

I am pacing and learning

Sometimes I am thinking if I choose the right path to go

Sometime ; I know , I have to pace on

The least that I can offer is to always do my best.

We have a lot to do; for our country and nation.
Be a graduate who can contribute something
for everything

I pray the best for everyone
I pray the best for me too

God is there for us

HE is always there

May God bless!

Thank you Allah
for everything!!!

because I am not you

I always have a thought that it is good to share everything ON - LINE

which could make others think the same 

as what I think about everything

but I know that I wont do that

I can post or make an entry on certain things

but not everything

that is why

it will be hard to describe me by just reading entries in my blog

all and all

I have different ways to do things

which sometimes make my friend call me WEIRD lols

example

1) assignments  ( refer to a difficult and tough one )

my friend : finish in 2 or 3 days earlier

me : night before / few hours before sending it

(this is because my style of studying is so much different from other people , really)

2) practical letter

my friend : sent it a week before

me : still not send it even now ( but I did email them lols )

3) music's playlist

my friend : mix songs ( language )

me : all KPOP songs ><

etc etc etc

well

I know how I deal with things

I cant force myself to do things

I will plan and I want to do it my way

and usually I will and sometimes it is carried away with emotions

( if any case is suitable to that )

that is why

I am learning to ignore any thoughts

that I think should not be adapted to myself

YES , I can accept advises

but I will filter it on which I should apply

aint it supposed to be that way?

anyhow

I will still write whatever that I thought should be share here

if it annoys anyone whose reading 'em

I cant say anything

because most things wrote in this blog is based on what I thought I should write in

not what others think

a lot of things happened lately

I put my thoughts in my "mind cloud"

I wish to share it with all of you

( in case there are people whose reading my blog )

but time constraint make me feel lost a bit

I need to finish up things

final year is no joke buddy

trust me

I rarely get enough sleep

even if I do (sometimes) , I will still have headache etc

because I cant focus and not getting enough rest

hope I will do well

this semester

ganbarimasho !

Le changes

Tonight I am happy that some of my works are done within a night. We planned to finish up our workshop ( which I at first suggest to finish it earlier and my friends are okay with the idea - oh God. Thanks to all of u ) and we made it !!!

We sure are so noisy discussing on how to finish it and deal with another work at the last one hour.

So , so far ; CSP and TAXATION . we have done our preparations. We did le exercise too which I really like it when we do it together with ur classmates. Shows whether u understood the topic or not tho its only chapter 1 ( its hella crazy since its tough am gonna say --- IF , you dont study of course XP ) .

but if you dont prepare from now , it might be hard later. Be it if people say that u are showing off studying earlier. Like HELLO , who cares. Its not like u r doing sth wrong. Haha

But i am sure that i cant study at home or else am gonna stuck with my animes etc. Lols. Since i know that , i took another alternatives for going to other places to study.

Its 2.19 AM now. Gonna sleep coz i have a class tmr.

See ya readers ^^

what do I have and what I dont?

hello

so , result was out

and mine was terrible

and tbh , i dont remember that result will be announce today

what happened?

i was so busy with my work and training my juniors

we are going to have a debate competition that will be held this weekend

up to next week which depends on the performance of the kids

so when I went straight home

i was so tired , so I slept early

I manage to remember when I saw my friend congratulating me

which makes me 

" what did I do that make you say that "

thats what I thought

then only I remember that result was announced !

thing is

my result was bad

and idk why and what I have done to get that sort of result

what I felt rn might not be how I felt

since I am not having heart pumping fast since

I am not remember the result was announce though

so yeah

when I looked at my result

I was like

" ouh , its out "

ahhhh , should I feel bad?

should I cry?

should I feel miserable?

idk

thing is , I am ... idk , heartless?

I know I am not doing much

but hearing that my housemate gets dean

i was "ouh" - ing again

thats cool syaf , clap to yourself and cry

that might be better to think of though

even I know I wont do that

honestly

for this semester break

i dont really get to just sit and enjoy my holiday

i was busy with works

training and on road in my car

and i feel bad sometimes that I didnt help my mother much

but idk , I know I am not good

thats why

idk

things happened and I know

promising myself to be better can just be another word

that can be said every semester

everytime

just , to comfort yourself

and if that is the best that I can do

why not aite?

yeah

I do think that training my juniors makes me think sth that I couldnt manage to see

which is to just do our best , and let Allah do the rest

my passions , my dreams

might not be 100% at my studies

which I should feel bad

but at the same time

since there are a lot of things to be focus on

and I am still learning

I should always tell myself that

doing what I think is good to myself wont do any harm

and envy-ing others for getting better and I do nothing wont bring me any good either

so yeah

syaf , go and live your life

feel happy and strive harder.

I hope I can manage to handle myself better in the future

>.<

My first birthday present

semalam hari jadi aku yang ke 21

aku tak buat apa sangat

sebab memang selalu mcm tu pun

selalunya tak sambut

haha

tapi aku okay je

sebab mmg tak biasa buat kan

makanya , aku buat apa yang selalunya 

menjadi rutin harian

disebabkan sekarang ni cuti

komputer riba ni memang selalu ada di hadapan mata lah kan

hari ni

8 hb

teman serumah aku

( rumah sewa )

dia text aku

sebentar tadi

( beberapa puluh minit yang lepas )

dia suruh aku bukak asianfanfic

sebab ada benda pelik

( sebab dia ~ nama dia azie ~ aku panggil dia kakak ~)

letak link di dinding ( wall ) aku

jadi susah sikit nak tgk

dia letakkan apa di situ

(disebabkan aku buka di telefon bimbit)

okay

jadi aku pun buka lah

( dekat komputer riba )

lepas tu aku buka link yg di beri

lepas tu aku nampak benda ni

terus rasa nak nangis

ini berada di bahagian "foreword" cerita

ini di akhir cerita 

" Prolog" bahagian satu

aku rasa nak menangis baca cerita ni

sebab kenal watak dalam cerita ni kan

and kak azie tahu aku minat diorang

syaf _ AKTF tu nama aku di sana

kalau ada yang sudi nak baca cerita

silalah * haha / "promote" lah kunun

aku terharu sangat

sebab kak azie siap tulis cerita

sebab aku tahu nak tulis cerita bukan senang

dan dia bagi sebagai hadiah hari jadi

thank you so muchhh !!!

dan sekarang aku teringat kat diorang 

sangat2

( kak ana dan kak azie )

diorang memang roommate yang sekepala

pokok cerita

kalau diorang xde masa kat shah alam

aku tak tau aku macam mana

terima kasih sebab jaga adik yang degil ni

hehe

dan aku akan cuba jadi adik yang baik utk korang

eceh XP

( di seremban nanti pun kitorang duduk serumah lagi )

yeay

okay macam terlebih pulak

tu je nak cerita kat entry ni

tak boleh nak tulis panjang

nanti menangis lagi

LOL

okay saja je macam gimik cerita

tunggu entry berikutnya

( mood : gembira )

What 21 means to me? 140207

I have a lot of thoughts tonight

It trembles me a lot

having a feeling of being happy

but I have one feeling that I can't describe on

I am 21 today

Alhamdulillah ( Thank God ) that I am still alive up till today

I can feel that His bless is always there for me

I am so thankful for that Ya Rabb :)

I know I am growing older

I will have a lot of responsibilities

and I realize that every year

ever since after I am reach the age of 20

but

I also know that I always show the other side of me 

to whatever reason that I am not sure what it is

but still I am so thankful that everyone is still very good to me

which I know I don't really deserve that

since I know that I rarely done something that can make them

really thankful for

but if they do

I am happy for that

to my parents and family,

I have nothing to give on

neither something good that I can show on to my parents

but I know I have tried my best to make them happy

even I know it will never be enough

I hope my existence can always make you happy

and for everything that you have done to me

I can't express it well

but I hope you know that I love you so much

Thank you mom for giving birth to me

for bringing me to this world

carrying me for 9 months

thought me

take care of me

be my side every time I need u

smiling for me

encourage me

for everything that you do

I know I can't pay with anything

i owe you my life

I know that I can't live without you

You are the one that nobody can replace

I know I always be a stubborn girl

but honestly deep inside me

I am always thankful to Allah that He choose you to be my mother

you are the best mom.

I am praying that you will be in Jannah 

and getting bless from HIM forever

thank you so much for everything

and for "you"

I know that I am always been so clumsy on things

but I really have a lot of things to say to you

I have a lot of thoughts about you

even if you are not

I am still happy doing that

and I didn't realize that I have been doing that for a long time ago

It just my blind eyes blurring my thoughts

I hope you can forgive me for whatever that I do

which perhaps make you feel uncomfortable

this 'you' title maybe exist in my side only

which I am not sure on that either

even so

I hope I could always grab the chances well

when the time is right

I am waiting

to be true to myself and you too

if that is the best^^

for my friend that I have lost contact for a long time

where have you been?

are you okay?

why you didn't contact me?

did I do something bad to you?

are you sick?

for this year's birthday

I really want to hear you singing to me again

like how you always did

I am so sad that I have to keep 

from others how much I think about you

to avoid contacting you to see whether you remember me or not

since our past really hurting me

then doing this hurt me some more

since you seems to forget me

which I am not sure about that

I just hope that you are doing okay

just so you know that I remember your birthday every year
and I always praying the best for everything that you do

hope we can still be friend in the future.

to Sakinah Najihah

I always owe you a lot

for listening to my randomness

for scolding me if I am doing sth wrong

for always giving good advise to me

I can't thank you enough

Idk how would I be if you are not around

I know I rarely treat you well

so I hope you can forgive me for that.

If I have to put this friendship in one word

I just can't since you are very precious to me :)

please stay by side forever

I really need you by my side

I am sorry for always troubling you

thank you so much for always staying by my side

thank you for this friendship too

For me you are the best

I hope you can be true to yourself too

because for whatever that other people say about you

you are very100X precious

just keep that in your mind :)

I will always be by your side

in case you need me too XP

inshaa Allah :)

and to my family

my friends

everyone

who never put any doubt on me

who always believe in me

thank you so much

I am praying for your success

and getting blessings from HIM always :)

I love all of you.

21 is just a number

perhaps that is what I am going to think

since I am still pacing my steps

which I know still slower than others

or perhaps a bit faster

but I know I still can sense where I am
( well at least XP )

which always make me thought whether I have done enough

to continue to a better road

inshaa Allah 

I am

and I am praying that Allah will ease our journey

always

lets try harder everyone

I have seen so much things few years back
since I love to look at people a lot
but I know that I always have a lot of thoughts about something
I can even speak non stop for something that can't even attract anyone's interest
but still there are people who will listen to that
I am always thankful for that

I might be quiet

or not talking much 
sometimes

but I think you can search

on all musics that I listened to

thats somehow

a way to express myself

that is what I usually did
( most of the times )

haha

hope you don't mind on that

I hope I can be a better person

way to be a good person is not easy

be it to be a perfect man

that is somehow sounds ridiculous

but I know it is not our decision to judge on our destiny

yes we are the one who work on it

but Allah ( God ) is the one who choose the path for us

let us pray so that He can in every decisions that we make

I am praying the same for everyone
Hope this year can be a better year for me to be matured 
and learn some more

this 'tears' that I keep for so long
I am happy that I have 'let it out'
:)

I know I messed up my writing again
but thanks for reading this
( for those who did )

well
until next entry
Yeorobun / minnasan / everyone
take care
good night :)

~syaf~
~ 3:09 am ~
~ 140207 ~

So I am giving all of you this song today
I really love this song
so I hope you like it too

Happy birthday to me
* be a good girl okay syaf? :)

New Year ~ New me? 2014

Hello there

it is almost to 2nd of January when I am writing this post

11.41pm (time at my country)

well people keep on posting what they have gone through in 2013

while I can't think how to summarize them in a picture

( well it is to be exactly posted in instagram i guess)

somehow i actually not sure which is the most precious

and which is not

lols

however I am kinda happy on how I spend or start my new year

well never mind on that though

a secret to myself :P

ouh now I am listening to JYJ - Mission

wanna hear too?

I guess I can put them up here 

wait up

( lol , its like we are having a conversation right? :P )

aite lets continue a bit

people said that time can make people change

so do I

where I think I sense that personally

perhaps it aint that much but ... yeah

so , last year

there were two semesters covered

I kinda lost my trust to some people

well that is normal perhaps

and also

I gained a new 'love'

haha

2013 was also 

a year that I spend a lot on kpop

well honestly

buying merchandises

knowing kpop fans

voting

writing fan fiction

subbing videos

downloading and uploading videos

well , i am happy that i am part of these

it makes me to stay in my world

well not really but perhaps in a good way that i could sense

myself XP

new me?

I might not really like to share what are the serious matters that I have been doing

well usually i am not

serious matter as in ...

"studies , business , bla bla bla"

well if you are close enough

then I could probably tell you

or you know it by yourself

coz it is obviously seen

when you are around me

but yeah

i do think on serious matterS

seriously

lols

i have few wishlists that i am not really list them out

but i have them in my mind

something relating to money , studies and 

how to manage myself to be more organized?

I know I am not working hard enough like how others did

I rather take things lightly

coz burdening my head would seriously makes me look miserable

you havent seen my attitude when I look serious

but it seriously scared me

haha

( i am scared to myself being serious? :P )

thus my way is always different to others

which makes me or more to push me to be alone

a little bit more

for example

when people are busy studying for exam

I can't bare to watch or speak to myself alone

it seriously bored to do so

( been there done that , coz nobody wanna talk to me - because they were studying)

since i do talk a lot

so i cannot stay in silence for a long time

unless needed

I am wishing for a lot more

on being a brand new me

in most matters

please pray for me

that i would be a better person this year

thanks for those who might keep on reading my entries these past few years

i really appreciate it
well I am sorry for not writing much
(as if people would care aite? haha)

all in all
do take care of yourself
love yourself
and appreciate others

1st of January 2014
TVXQ released out their new MV
named Something
do enjoy :)

till then <3

LDR =='

Its a random title

well not really

well whatever

short jump

first paper is on 30th December

I haven't prepare much

I online a lot

I watch videos a lot

I subbed videos ( a lot >< )

I upload videos

I download videos

I read book less

I eat less ( I am so broke right now >< )

I sleep less

well

IDK

few news

I have received my B.A.P 2014 Season Greetings ( a big yeay for me , ngee )

I bought 2014 epop calander 

I bought books

I bought tshirts

I watched movies

I hanged out

I drive 

I call people

I throw the phone coz people are not answering
etc

well

lot of things happening aite?

briefly

I am waiting

I am looking at the sky

thinking of you

with the hope that you are doing fine

I am still in touch with my love ones (family for sure)

no worries

I am scared a bit coz this always makes me scared

 (Idk how to express that in writing )

well

till we meet again

until I am sure what is the right expression that I should show
It has been a long time since I sent you the other day though (ehm)

the rest ( i guess? )

I keep them to myself  XP

I wrote fanfics

I stopped for long

not that I dont have idea

I just dont have much time

(provided to sub videos? lols? ) XP

 well its only left for climax i guess

IDK who will read my story though

its in asianfanfic dot com

well , just FYI :P

well

I guess this is it

until we meet again

wish all the best for me and the rest

ttyl :)

~syaf~

I am happy ^_^

Actually am not really good posting an entry through a mobile but I am trying now (LOL whatever)

But hey I am happy.
I just got a call from a friend that I havent heard of him for ages. But yeah he is doing good in most of the thing. ( but i know he will always will ).
:-P

Anyhow , I hope both of us can do well in the future in whatever that we do.

And for you , I am always praying the best for you an do take care of yourself . Take care of your health. Study well and I pray so that Allah will always protect you wherever you are :-)

Sincerely ,
Syaf ^_^

PROUD - something that I've left over . Welcome to new semester people :)

* DBSK - Proud Live Performance (2nd Live Tour 2007 Five in the Black) *

dah lama rasanya tak jejak kaki di laman ni

few things happened dan aku rasa aku perlu berdiam diri

eceh

lagu di atas adalah lagu DBSK

( for those yg tak tahu , DBSK stands for Dong Bang Shin Ki )

lagu PROUD 

waktu mereka buat 

persembahan live 2007

promoting album FIVE IN THE BLACK

I love this performance !!!
ok ter over -_-

tapi sejujurnya banyak je lagu mereka yang aku suka

tapi utk persembahan live 

ada certain tu buat aku hilang dalam dunia aku

gituh

lagu ni salah satu daripadanya lah

anyway

~ always keep the faith ~

*******

okay

berbalik pada cerita aku

sekarang ni tinggal lagi beberapa hari sebelum aku mula semester baru

semester 3 

kalau ada sesetengah universiti

aku kira dah masuk tahun kedua semester pertama

kejap je rasa dah masuk semester 3

dulu masa aku mula2 masuk ijazah

terfikir macam mana aku nak survive degree ni

alhamdulillah Allah bagi kekuatan utk terus berada di sini

berjuang mencari ilmu

sebenarnya

keputusan semester 2 aku jatuh 

jatuh sangat

cuma apabila aku diam fikir balik

mesti ada hikmah di sebaliknya

alhamdulillah Allah bagi aku peluang utk buat yang lebih baik

xada subjek repeat

aku fikir

usaha utk kejar kejayaan tu tak boleh berhenti setakat di kertas peperiksaan sahaja

sebab even how hard I try

at the end

aku masih kena hidup dalam alam realiti

utk praktikkan apa yang dah aku belajar

jatuh di semester 2 buat aku sedar benda tuh

aku rasa macam aku dah usaha sehabis baik

tapi mungkin tak cukup

walau aku suka macam mana pun subjek yang aku belajar

mesti ada something yang aku tak buat

yang buat aku leka

I've been thinking about it 

tapi resolution tu biar aku simpan dalam hati je la

subjek semester depan ada SEMBILAN !!!

22 JAM KREDIT

lebih banyak berbanding subjek dan jam kredit semester lepas

semester 1 ( 18 jam kredit )

semester 2 ( 19 jam kredit )

sebenarnya ramai jugak kawan aku yang repeat subjek semester lepas

bukan nak burukkan orang

cuma aku berdoa diorang boleh survive semester depan

sincerely kedudukan tu bukan nak bawa kot

sebab semester 3 mesti lebih tough

( kita usaha sama2 okay )

dalam minggu ni kitorang dah start daftar subjek

secara online lah yang pastinya

yang kelakarnya  fakulti kitorang dah tentukan classmate

dari pandangan aku

aku tak berapa suka la sebenarnya

sebab partner assignment aku dah kat kelas lain

bukan salah nak kenal orang baru

cuma risiko la if dapat those yg tak buat kerja

sebab aku dah lelah nak jumpa orang macam ni

markah nak tapi kerja tak nak buat

harap tak dpt orang mcm ni la dlm kumpulan aku

huhu

* I sound like a bad girl ever *

tapi aku pulak jenis yang malas nak argue ke apa

so aku daftar lah kelas yg diorang dah bagi

ouh

lupa nak cakap

semester depan

semester depan adalah semester last utk subjek kokorikulum ( sem 1 - 3 )

dan aku mula belajar subjek third language ( semester 3 - 5 )

elektif pun start semester depan

aku pilih utk ambil subjek Quality Management

utk kokorikulum aku take part in English Debating

kinda fun la join this club

dan utk third language aku decide utk ambil bahasa Jepun

( hope I can do my best in this language ) takut sebenarnya

ni subjek semester depan - ihsan laman web uitm AM225 -

*******

semester depan aku duduk luar

tak dapat kolej

yang stick dengan aku ada 2 orang

kira kami mmg dah janji nak duduk sama

( pangkat kakak eh diorang )

banyak kisah jugak pasal rumah sewa ni

mula2 aku dapat satu rumah

kira kena cari orang la

aku jadi orang yg deal dengan tuan rumah

lama jugak la aku cari orang

so aku decide nak ambil 8 orang satu rumah

siap post kat FB semua la

so

disebabkan kitarang dah lama sangat tunggu

( sebab nak jumpa tuan rumah etc )

then to one point aku decide utk cancel deal

( aku bincang jugak dgn yang lagi 2 orang tuh)

yang kelakarnya

once aku dah cancel

ramai pulak tanya nak rumah

aku hanya mampu minta maaf je la sebab dah cancel deal kan

before kami 3 orang nak cancel rumah

kami dah cari replacement dulu

sebab rasa macam payah nak cari housemate

maka dapatla sewa satu bilik

( aku tak tengok lagi bilik tuh) 

yakin gile nanti terus masuk je 

utk yang kali ni 

kakak yang lagi sorang tu tolong carikan

syukurlah dapat juga bilik

kami 3 orang satu bilik

sorry la 

panjang sangat aku merepek

haha

*******
okay

aku nak buat confession 

nak minta maaf kalau ada sesiapa yang terasa

lately ni ( baru2 ni sahaja okay )

 aku rasa malas nak on sangat any of my networking site

ada jugak bukak sebenarnya

maksud aku , minta maaf la kalau 

aku tak layan whatsapp korang

or kalau aku tak balas inbox korang

 ( if email or fb biasa aku balas )

err email tak sgt sbnrnya :P

or wechat

or line ( err )

or tweet

* bajet banyak sangat sites yang aku ada *

aku bukak

dan still check in most of the time

cuma kadang aku tak react apa2

unless benda tu penting

or sort of important to me ~_~

lately ni aku banyak dengan you tube

tumblr 

dan account asianfanfic 

insta juga ( kdg2 )

but I guess I wont be active much after this
since semester is coming in
* kononnya lah *

( though aku tau sapa je la yang tegur pun kan )

hek hek

don't be mad at me

sometimes I am just weird like this

so .. yeah

bear it !!!
lol

*******

pheww

ok guys

see ya next time

whenever I am free

nanti2 aku update la eh 

* ayat bajet retis *

good luck jugak pada junior yang nak masuk semester 1 ni

but I don't think I'll be a good senior 

 unless kau yang baik dgn aku 

haha

~_~

see ya

love you

^_^

* lol , sorry but I just love this gif *

=P