Saturday, December 26, 2015

Plotting down...

How are things?
I hope everyone are doing their best at whatever you guys do

- my sentences are here and there- sorry- I forget how to write well:P-

I have been spacing out from world for a long time
twitter and music have been a great place for me to hide
I am sure this isn't the best option
 coz lot of people will tell me I am wasting my time

Whilst people pacing up studying
I am losing myself up to all kpop updates and all
while I am trying to catching up my breathe for those things
updating wasn't the only thing that I am facing

for a long time 
music has been a great company to me
I don't deny that
most of you knew it

deep in me
there are a lot of things going on as well
which am sure everyone is facing this
the perks of when we know what we think we knew what we are facing
despite how small and big they are
for me , getting scolded and humiliated by someone that I havent meet is usual
for me it is big and it did give me a big impact
which am really thankful for.
for other people,
it is sth they dont bother coz its not theirs?
guess so? guess not? idk

its always cliche to come and talk about the same thing
of how people will eventually talking about themselves
well we are all human anyway
being selfish is what we do
different is
how many percentage we put on it

time flies and we can start to see
who within our circle show how much they care for you
as when I thought "ahh , she never does this and that"
at the end
she is the one running to me giving her best when am at my lowest point

me trying to adjusting my trust and respect to elders changed too
people started to see am able to do this and that
my respect in giving away my opinions
of how I say it and all
or should I say it or not

I will come through each points and see how I can be "good" to them
but they ruin my respect and not respecting me at all 
making me to forget how being respectful is
I choose to stay away and do my stuffs
the best option so far
for someone that I dont know
in real world

I started to be ignorant and choose what I can do best at what I do only
even being a good listener is still within me
I started to doubt people again
and me with "new" thought taught me to be choosy
and ignore what I don't think necessary
but I don't take all these as good steps

I just focus on those who I think I get my focus on
even in wider scope 
I just think what I can reach
coz I am so tired 
to care about anyone else now
coz I guess am taking too much time before
I lost my time for myself
and I am not denying that

as in
I am ignoring people
but I keep on trying to be someone who can give sth
at the same time thinking about myself
and trying to do my best about others
am contradicting in every lines but guess thats how complicated 
things are when I am trying to compress what I felt for months in an entry :P

but well
in conclusion
am doing good
but tired
thats all

how about you?

if you say that I didn't ctc you
my twitter was terminated (coz lol me for forgetting to re-activate)
my youtube was terminated (I don't lie , I cry for this. damn rules. 812 subscribers T_T)
IG ( data sucks so I just come when my idols updating :P)
whatsapp ( I mute most groups. sorry not to sorry)

am just around my world and doing things on my own
am growing up well
hope you are too

to my close friends
that I haven't ctc for long
I am always praying the best for all of you
am just not into conversations much lately
but deep in me
I am always wishing that Allah will always protect you for me
I am sorry for being a lame and boring friend
take care

do well
live well


I hope in everything that we do
we will always think that we are not alone
I always forget this
hence why I am all miserable
do what makes you happy
if you intend them for good things
Allah will repay you back with good things