A new journey

All praised to HIM

Greetings everyone

1st November 2016

I learnt a lot along the time that I left this blog

I drafted few entries but left unsaid :P

Sorry, I don't write well much eceh

25th October 2016

This is a story about my convocation

I am all happy that I finally graduated

I am so damn happy that I don't realize that I made it

I am so so so happy that Allah still give me a chance to feel this

Thanks to all warm wishes and dua'

Thank you for those who came

Thank you for my family who waited for long for the ceremony

I cried when "UITM DI HATIKU" song played

been wanting to feel the feeling of having convocation

when I am in, IDK what to feel

Years of journey

Many friends come and go

A lot of memories created along the way

Then

I lead the story to my journey with working environment

I never thought to have a chance to get the opportunity

Being able to work with an 'old' company

and in a position that I never thought that I will even sit

I know , I have to do well to show my appreciation

Now

I am pacing and learning

Sometimes I am thinking if I choose the right path to go

Sometime ; I know , I have to pace on

The least that I can offer is to always do my best.

We have a lot to do; for our country and nation.
Be a graduate who can contribute something
for everything

I pray the best for everyone
I pray the best for me too

God is there for us

HE is always there

May God bless!

Thank you Allah
for everything!!!

Factors ~

Tbh. If you talk about how I get the motivation. Throughout the entries. Yes I did say that B.A.P and DBSK thought me , but they are not the only factors.

When I am stress and feel demotivated , there are few things that I will do. Yeah , this to praying to Allah. That should be the first.

Other things...

1) call my mom. Thats the easiest way and fastest for me
2) tell my friend about it
3) do whatever that i wanna do until i feel motivated. This depends on the mood and what I feel at that moment
4) etc

Sometimes , when we brag about sth , doesnt mean that is the main focus of ours. Well , its all on you and its you who decide.

Good luck for mid term test , dear myself ~

140628 #HappyDaehyunDay , #BAPBangkokAttack and #Ramadhan2014

Salam

and hye to all readers

I know there ain't much people reading my blog

unless for some purposes

but it is okay

I just like posting things and bragging alone :P

so today is 28th June 2014

three hashtags that I have been using today

1) #HappyDaehyunDay

this is the hashtag that we use worldwide for Daehyun's birthday

I did posted mine at my instagram

byane , lately , I usually posted once and that's it

not that much spazzing like I was before :P

( freaking using hashtag to help )

well , for some reason , I turned that way

no blame or offences ><

so , Happy birthday Daehyun

lets fight together , you are at the same as me

so , lets be at the same par at least

don't leave me fighting chasing your achievements alone :)

thanks for being exist Daehyun-ssi :)

cr as tagged

2) #BAPBangkokAttack

this is a hashtag for B.A.P LIVE ON EARTH @ Bangkok

well , I do some updates at / cough / fan ______

and streaming the concert

thanks to the one who share the link

hugs to you

as tweeted by some fanbases

this LOE will be the last for this year

( sobs , please come to Malaysia next year T_T )

and Yongguk tweeted all the places

and write

" EARTH NEEDS YOU "

marks the end of LOE this year

that reminds me of the reason and theme for LOE

when they started the journey at the early year

( I missed when I spazz a lot about you B.A.P >< )

3 ) #Ramadhan2014

Alhamdulillah , Allah gives us chances to live

and be in this month of Barakah

Ramadhan Kareem !!! Allahu Akram !!!

( there are a lot of feelings talking about Ramadhan , how I survive surviving my school , the moment of Sahur , breakfasting , at home , schools , getting wishes , surviving all hardships with everyone , omg , tears tearing up , idk , I should be happy arriving at this month , I know , thanks to Allah , providing the chances letting us to keep on gaining His blessings , why we as His servants always take things for granted? why me as a person cant be good enough? As a Muslim , this is something that I am proud to say , that I am a Muslim , but when I think back , there are a lot of things that I need to do , to learn and be a better Muslim. Lets be a better Muslim neh? Lets work hard fighting for His blessing and Jannah ^^ )

p/s :

there are only few days left for next final exam paper

but I havent touch anything since the last paper

feel so blurr and a bit lost today

I need to get back to track ><

yesterday

I whatsapping with my brother

I miss him so much

we talk a lot though that was at 1pm +

haha , take care bro

I do talk to my older bro before my paper

its my routine before any paper

to call my mom , and my older brother

haha

glad that everyone at home are doing great

I need to study I think

People are going to start fasting tomorrow

lets .... get a lot of His blessings this months and afterwards :)

Imy ~

having a lot to be done

I am doing things miserably

lols , sometimes

most times tbvh

I am in a condition

that hardly can get enough sleep

and leisure time?

I am 'stealing' some times to do it

well

some must have been listening to all these stories

tbh , I rarely changed tho

hahahahahahahahahahaha

*cries Han River

right now

when I am 'stress' doing my works

I remember my brother's advice

omg , I miss him so much

when I came back home last time

he only stayed at home only for few moments

because he has commitments with his works

I miss my little brothers too

those innocent , pabo and brilliant brothers

who rarely want to listen to what I said

but will do it eventually

heol

I am just .....

I miss them so much :)

T_T

Kemahiran Insaniah and Happy Mothers Day ^^

Hello fellas

now is 10.17 pm . 11 of May 2014

first of all 

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers in the world

and especially to my mom

I love you much

this is what I can confidently said

without doubt

that I seriously love you so much

really really really

thank you so much

( ok , sounds exaggerating :P )

- the rest , I told her already through call did I did few moments ago  -

so today

I just finish my 6th KI modul

it is Kemahiran Insaniah

that you have to do 

and have to complete it

fail to do so , you have to repeat it

( since it sort of a 'school' that you need to finish )

I am so tired

like really really really tired

but I can't sleep either

have a lot of works and submissions to be done

tomorrow , I have a test and presentation to be done

psst ....

now I even listening to DBSK's songs like a crazy girl while writing this , lmao 

1) I cant really sleep to rest

2) I am a Cassiopeia ( err )

3) I dont feel like sleeping until my works done? lols

back to topic XP

my weekend has been taken away

so I need to use these time left for my works

omg T_T

( my brother call me this evening , thank you , sobs , imy ~_~ )

btw , the program held were from 8 am to 6pm ( roughly )

I learnt a lot

seriously

it even made me to feel like a numb too

since these modules were about

self development and entrepreneurship

self development's module was held on Saturday

I enjoyed this module so much

thanks to the facilitator

I learnt that I need to know a lot of things

around me and the world

well , tbh , I did know

but I don't really bother to know

so I need to change that

final year is approaching me ahead

I need to be damn serious about most things

and for today's module

I learnt about entrepreneurship

I know I lacked a lot in most fields

when I saw my friends presenting about their ideas

I feel that I need to be more innovative and creative

and when it comes to entrepreneurship

I know I have my own interest towards this field

but I know I need to learnt lot

tbh

when I learnt about development of business

way to control the way

way to handle the resources

I know the thoughts of all risks are around

I know there wont be any easy steps to even stand straight

on this arena

but then again 

courage is needed

and this is where I need to develop

I dont fear the least courage that I have

I fear the knowledge that I have

I know how I see things

and I know with what I have

this wont be enough to face things outside fearlessly

though I thought that I am good in my studies

this doesnt mean that I can survive well

isn't it?

isn't this should be a fear that I should be afraid off?

well , tbh

I should put all negative thoughts away

learning could be in so any ways

and I know I can do well 

just in matter of time

that whether I can step out when I face the reality later

do you think I am able to do it?

haha

I know I have to answer this myself

so ...

ganbarimashooooooooo !!! 

^^

What 21 means to me? 140207

I have a lot of thoughts tonight

It trembles me a lot

having a feeling of being happy

but I have one feeling that I can't describe on

I am 21 today

Alhamdulillah ( Thank God ) that I am still alive up till today

I can feel that His bless is always there for me

I am so thankful for that Ya Rabb :)

I know I am growing older

I will have a lot of responsibilities

and I realize that every year

ever since after I am reach the age of 20

but

I also know that I always show the other side of me 

to whatever reason that I am not sure what it is

but still I am so thankful that everyone is still very good to me

which I know I don't really deserve that

since I know that I rarely done something that can make them

really thankful for

but if they do

I am happy for that

to my parents and family,

I have nothing to give on

neither something good that I can show on to my parents

but I know I have tried my best to make them happy

even I know it will never be enough

I hope my existence can always make you happy

and for everything that you have done to me

I can't express it well

but I hope you know that I love you so much

Thank you mom for giving birth to me

for bringing me to this world

carrying me for 9 months

thought me

take care of me

be my side every time I need u

smiling for me

encourage me

for everything that you do

I know I can't pay with anything

i owe you my life

I know that I can't live without you

You are the one that nobody can replace

I know I always be a stubborn girl

but honestly deep inside me

I am always thankful to Allah that He choose you to be my mother

you are the best mom.

I am praying that you will be in Jannah 

and getting bless from HIM forever

thank you so much for everything

and for "you"

I know that I am always been so clumsy on things

but I really have a lot of things to say to you

I have a lot of thoughts about you

even if you are not

I am still happy doing that

and I didn't realize that I have been doing that for a long time ago

It just my blind eyes blurring my thoughts

I hope you can forgive me for whatever that I do

which perhaps make you feel uncomfortable

this 'you' title maybe exist in my side only

which I am not sure on that either

even so

I hope I could always grab the chances well

when the time is right

I am waiting

to be true to myself and you too

if that is the best^^

for my friend that I have lost contact for a long time

where have you been?

are you okay?

why you didn't contact me?

did I do something bad to you?

are you sick?

for this year's birthday

I really want to hear you singing to me again

like how you always did

I am so sad that I have to keep 

from others how much I think about you

to avoid contacting you to see whether you remember me or not

since our past really hurting me

then doing this hurt me some more

since you seems to forget me

which I am not sure about that

I just hope that you are doing okay

just so you know that I remember your birthday every year
and I always praying the best for everything that you do

hope we can still be friend in the future.

to Sakinah Najihah

I always owe you a lot

for listening to my randomness

for scolding me if I am doing sth wrong

for always giving good advise to me

I can't thank you enough

Idk how would I be if you are not around

I know I rarely treat you well

so I hope you can forgive me for that.

If I have to put this friendship in one word

I just can't since you are very precious to me :)

please stay by side forever

I really need you by my side

I am sorry for always troubling you

thank you so much for always staying by my side

thank you for this friendship too

For me you are the best

I hope you can be true to yourself too

because for whatever that other people say about you

you are very100X precious

just keep that in your mind :)

I will always be by your side

in case you need me too XP

inshaa Allah :)

and to my family

my friends

everyone

who never put any doubt on me

who always believe in me

thank you so much

I am praying for your success

and getting blessings from HIM always :)

I love all of you.

21 is just a number

perhaps that is what I am going to think

since I am still pacing my steps

which I know still slower than others

or perhaps a bit faster

but I know I still can sense where I am
( well at least XP )

which always make me thought whether I have done enough

to continue to a better road

inshaa Allah 

I am

and I am praying that Allah will ease our journey

always

lets try harder everyone

I have seen so much things few years back
since I love to look at people a lot
but I know that I always have a lot of thoughts about something
I can even speak non stop for something that can't even attract anyone's interest
but still there are people who will listen to that
I am always thankful for that

I might be quiet

or not talking much 
sometimes

but I think you can search

on all musics that I listened to

thats somehow

a way to express myself

that is what I usually did
( most of the times )

haha

hope you don't mind on that

I hope I can be a better person

way to be a good person is not easy

be it to be a perfect man

that is somehow sounds ridiculous

but I know it is not our decision to judge on our destiny

yes we are the one who work on it

but Allah ( God ) is the one who choose the path for us

let us pray so that He can in every decisions that we make

I am praying the same for everyone
Hope this year can be a better year for me to be matured 
and learn some more

this 'tears' that I keep for so long
I am happy that I have 'let it out'
:)

I know I messed up my writing again
but thanks for reading this
( for those who did )

well
until next entry
Yeorobun / minnasan / everyone
take care
good night :)

~syaf~
~ 3:09 am ~
~ 140207 ~

So I am giving all of you this song today
I really love this song
so I hope you like it too

Happy birthday to me
* be a good girl okay syaf? :)

New Year ~ New me? 2014

Hello there

it is almost to 2nd of January when I am writing this post

11.41pm (time at my country)

well people keep on posting what they have gone through in 2013

while I can't think how to summarize them in a picture

( well it is to be exactly posted in instagram i guess)

somehow i actually not sure which is the most precious

and which is not

lols

however I am kinda happy on how I spend or start my new year

well never mind on that though

a secret to myself :P

ouh now I am listening to JYJ - Mission

wanna hear too?

I guess I can put them up here 

wait up

( lol , its like we are having a conversation right? :P )

aite lets continue a bit

people said that time can make people change

so do I

where I think I sense that personally

perhaps it aint that much but ... yeah

so , last year

there were two semesters covered

I kinda lost my trust to some people

well that is normal perhaps

and also

I gained a new 'love'

haha

2013 was also 

a year that I spend a lot on kpop

well honestly

buying merchandises

knowing kpop fans

voting

writing fan fiction

subbing videos

downloading and uploading videos

well , i am happy that i am part of these

it makes me to stay in my world

well not really but perhaps in a good way that i could sense

myself XP

new me?

I might not really like to share what are the serious matters that I have been doing

well usually i am not

serious matter as in ...

"studies , business , bla bla bla"

well if you are close enough

then I could probably tell you

or you know it by yourself

coz it is obviously seen

when you are around me

but yeah

i do think on serious matterS

seriously

lols

i have few wishlists that i am not really list them out

but i have them in my mind

something relating to money , studies and 

how to manage myself to be more organized?

I know I am not working hard enough like how others did

I rather take things lightly

coz burdening my head would seriously makes me look miserable

you havent seen my attitude when I look serious

but it seriously scared me

haha

( i am scared to myself being serious? :P )

thus my way is always different to others

which makes me or more to push me to be alone

a little bit more

for example

when people are busy studying for exam

I can't bare to watch or speak to myself alone

it seriously bored to do so

( been there done that , coz nobody wanna talk to me - because they were studying)

since i do talk a lot

so i cannot stay in silence for a long time

unless needed

I am wishing for a lot more

on being a brand new me

in most matters

please pray for me

that i would be a better person this year

thanks for those who might keep on reading my entries these past few years

i really appreciate it
well I am sorry for not writing much
(as if people would care aite? haha)

all in all
do take care of yourself
love yourself
and appreciate others

1st of January 2014
TVXQ released out their new MV
named Something
do enjoy :)

till then <3

LDR =='

Its a random title

well not really

well whatever

short jump

first paper is on 30th December

I haven't prepare much

I online a lot

I watch videos a lot

I subbed videos ( a lot >< )

I upload videos

I download videos

I read book less

I eat less ( I am so broke right now >< )

I sleep less

well

IDK

few news

I have received my B.A.P 2014 Season Greetings ( a big yeay for me , ngee )

I bought 2014 epop calander 

I bought books

I bought tshirts

I watched movies

I hanged out

I drive 

I call people

I throw the phone coz people are not answering
etc

well

lot of things happening aite?

briefly

I am waiting

I am looking at the sky

thinking of you

with the hope that you are doing fine

I am still in touch with my love ones (family for sure)

no worries

I am scared a bit coz this always makes me scared

 (Idk how to express that in writing )

well

till we meet again

until I am sure what is the right expression that I should show
It has been a long time since I sent you the other day though (ehm)

the rest ( i guess? )

I keep them to myself  XP

I wrote fanfics

I stopped for long

not that I dont have idea

I just dont have much time

(provided to sub videos? lols? ) XP

 well its only left for climax i guess

IDK who will read my story though

its in asianfanfic dot com

well , just FYI :P

well

I guess this is it

until we meet again

wish all the best for me and the rest

ttyl :)

~syaf~

berlari menuju pelangi

sehari dua ni

aku rasa ada sesuatu yang ketuk hati ni

nak jadi lebih rajin

lewls

jujur aku kata

semester 2 ini banyak mengundang keserabutan di kepala

salahnya mungkin ada di benak sendiri

maka aku berdiam diri sahaja

beberapa hari lepas 

aku ada berbicara dengan seorang sahabat

( terima kasih pada dia utk nasihat ini )

dia kata hendak berjaya ni

mungkin akan mengambil masa yang lama

tapi jangan rasa apa yang kita dah lalui itu

sebagai sesuatu yang membuang masa

contohlaa

dahulu aku belajar asasi undang - undang

sekarang aku sambung ijazah sarjana muda pentadbiran korporat

kan lain bidang tuh

walaupun asasi mengambil masa setahun

ia tetap megambil setahun usia aku

tak kan aku nak kata 

aku dah buang masa satu tahun belajar bukan?

aku fikir laa

macam kawan aku cakap

aku belajar bnyk benda waktu asasi dahulu

i gained a lot

and which makes me a lot more better

dari diri sendiri masa di sekolah dahulu

ehem

betul jugak

sekurang-kurangnya

aku ada asas undang-undang

bila kau belajar undang-undang

skill putar belit ayat tu kau memang akan ada 

* ok , ini menyimpang ... haha

and aku kenal ramai orang

aku belajar hidup jauh dari negeri sendiri

( sebab asasi kat kuantan )

belajar naik bas 

( sebab dulu sekolah dekat , parents hantar je )

banyaklaa

dan hidup kat sana memang best

jujur kata memang best

dan aku juga belajar utk lebih berdikari

bila masuk degree

aku belajar pasal management pulak

belajar macam mana nak deal dengan orang and etc

walaupun aku sedar aku passive sikit degree ni

( aku pun tak tahu kenapa )

tapi aku belajar bidang lain

yang menambahkan pengetahuan kat kepala dan diri ni

alhamdulillah

Allah bagi peluang untuk terus belajar

back to topic kat atas

aku rasa aku bit lost sikit semester ni

mungkin aku high hope

aku pun tak pasti

tapi aku rasa

aku perlu lebih rajin lagi

sebab kalau aku nak gained sth

( sth tu singkatan utk something - bagi those yg mungkin tak tahu laa )

aku yang perlu usaha

and yes

aku perlu sokongan

aku dah terlalu muak 

ditinggalkan di belakang

atau tidak dipedulikan oleh orang2 yang berkepentingan

dan aku pulak memang suka buat perangai tak ambil kisah

tapi aku tahu masih ramai yang menyokong di belakang

dan aku tahu Allah sentiasa di sisi

makanya aku harap

aku terus ada kekuatan utk menjadi lebih baik

dan berlari menuju pelangi yang indah

mungkin aku akan terleka

kerana manusia sifatnya mudah lupa

tapi aku berharap

aku ada doa kalian

dan aku juga kita semua berjaya bersama-sama

Ya Allah

permudahkan lah urusan kami semua

amin

semoga kita semua sentiasa berada di bawah lembayung rahmatNYA

jaga diri

^_^

Result : Alhamdulillah :D

Assalamualaikum

and happy day to all

alhamdulillah , jangkaan selepas tarikh diumumkan

bila result peperiksaan akhir akan keluar

masing-masing semangat tak boleh nak tidur

aku , sebab merasakan email sangatlah lambat nak masuk

makanya aku layan anime sampai jam 2 pagi

tu pun refresh email macam tak ada perasaan

sebab dah mengantuk sangat

akhirnya aku putuskan untuk tidur terlebih dahulu

bangun2 tidur , terus bukak laptop

nak check result

konon

seusai aku melihat result

first person yang aku panggil adalah ibu 

aku tak tahu nak reflect macam mana muka aku masa tuh

haha

any how

Alhamdululillah

rasa syukur ini aku hadapkan pada Allah

kerana memberi aku peluang untuk merasa gembira

dan ( tak tau nak rasa apa sebenarnya )

aku pun tumpang gembira pada sahabat-sahabat lain 

yang kebanyakannya mendapat Anugerah Dekan pada semester 1 ini

Alhamdulillah :D

dalam perjalanan sebagai seorang pelajar

aku rasa aku tak mampu nak gerak seorang diri

makanya aku nak ucapkan terima kasih kepada semua 

yang sentiasa ada dan mengajar aku 

segala macam benda

family / kawan2 / lecturer / semua :D

thanks kepada roommate aku

Khaleeda , Kak Nadia dengan Kak Tharra

aku tahu result korang mesti gempak kan?

korang belajar lagi .. pergh , aku tak boleh nak gambarkan lah

thanks kepada kawan2 kelas yang selalu ajar

u guys are awesome :)

Farhana , Diana , Qawi , Bakhtiar , Hazim , Saha , Acap , Usein , Sayeedah , 

Izzati , Atiqah , Farah , Aqilah , Shahrin , Haziq , Iman , Robel , Fuad ,

Akmal , Umi , Alyah , Wani , 

semua nya

( banyak sangat nama , haha , maaf kalau tak tertulis ea XD )

and thanks to my best friends yang selalu ada menyokong

Haziq Aiman dan Sakinah Najihah

walaupun kita selalu jauh

tapi korang selalu support aku :)

and special thanks to all Professor and Lecturers

yang selalu bertungkus lumus mengajar

walaupun kadang2 aku buat muka blurr

or mengantuk dalam kelas

tapi ... yeah , thank you so much :)

Miss Atiqah

Miss Syaira

Mdm Lina

Sir Ismail

Prof Mahyuddin

Sir Kamaruzzaman

Prof Madya Zulekha

Prof Madya Dr Shireen

thanks to all

yang disebut dan tidak disebut namanya

inshaa Allah

kalian sentiasa di dalam doa diri yang tidak seberapa ini

doakan yang terbaik untuk semester depan :)

5 semesters to go

yeah yeah

haha

good luck all

thanks

May Allah bless all of you :)

it is not easy to be a housewife

have you ever thought that being a housewife is the easiest job to do?

well i will say that it is not that way

you know

starting early in the morning

they have to boil the water , think on what to prepare for breakfast

then waking up the children

then thinking of what the husband would want to wear to work

ironing their clothes

perhaps her husband want to bring some food to office

then cleaning up the table

start to do the laundry

hang them up , and pick them up when it's already dry

think on what to cook for lunch

buying things for the preparation

dinner

tea time

supper

bla bla bla

that is not included when the husband are depending 

on her for children's education

for cleaning up the house

for this for that

you know

EVERYTHING 

have you ever thought

when you lost you socks or even t shirt

who are you calling to get them back?

your mom right?

how do you ask her for it?

yelling and waiting for her to get things back?

or try to look first and then you ask her?

which one?

if your mom ask you to get it by yourself

have you ever say to her as

" what have you done at home? you are the one whose doing the cleaning and things "

have you ever say like that to her?

LOL

well

i dont wanna say anything

but hey you could think that by yourselves

only when she wants to lay down and rest

that is when you want to look everything in this world

mom , where is my this , bla bla bla

consideration is needed

you could find it by yourself at first right?

yeah at least

have you ever see your mom or wife laying down to rest

then you say

" hey , do some works , prepare the dinner or whatever ,

dont just laying down like that , i am tired coz i just came back from work "

you know that when you came back from work or school

or whenever you have been before

she has done everything in the house from morning till night

non stop

and when she wanna have a rest

yet you say she hasn't do anything?

lets say if a wife is working

she still need to do the same

when the husband are resting and waiting for the rest to be prepared

that is not the right way i guess

you know

everything will be easier if you do have some consideration

if we help each other to make some move with the house chores or whatever

that would be better right?

so what i am trying to say is that

try to appreciate what you mom / wife or whoever in this world

that has done everything for you

you know to let the house to be in harmonious way

everybody should get involve in it

not only by one party or some party

having family is the same as having a management in the office

when once you rely on one party to do the job

you will never beat the rest in terms of profit and quality management

lets have a thought about this

and makes some move to make things better

i would try the same here

so 

take care everyone

be someone who could contribute something to your house hold ;)