Annyeong ~ fanbase

For things that I have put my heart to it.
For a place that I decided to stay when my heart is broken because of 'those' people.
This fanbase helps and makes me feel a lot of things.

Thank you for these 9 months.

I will cherish every moments there.

Annyeong.

too attached

I have to admit that

I am too attached with them

(but I am not sasaeng tho -_-)

sometimes I wonder if others will take me as a 'weird' person

( which I always think that they are )

and I always say that ' I DONT CARE ' 

when I always act that 'I care about whatever that you say' XP

but

perhaps because I am way too immerse into music

and they are part of how I see where motivation comes 

( part of the factors )

since then , I started to reveal that I am a KPOPers

since I am too attached to them

and I am happy that most of my friends know it

and don't really say anything negative about it (tehee)

I am ( which I believe other BABYs do the same ) to the level

that we can even recognize a picture just by seeing at their styles

( because you are updating everything about them EVERYDAY :3 )

or whether it is from haters or not

etc etc

( not gonna elaborate that , it can be a sensitive issue to some )

loving them make me be in different level

somehow I can feel that

but idk how to describe or explain that to you

I can take so much efforts

to edit videos , make a lot of accounts

talk about them

share things that I have with BABYs

( my fandom )

and etc etc

even so

some recognized that

and ask me to be an admin for a fanbase ( based in my country )

showing how I can do to that much

though it is not much

I never meet them

I never go to their concert yet

( OMG , Please come here again T_T )

and I also know that they might / might not know me

but I am just ...

I will be at their back

no matter what

thank you

B.A.P

B.A.P - FIRST SENSIBILITY  ( 1004 COMEBACK ) - March 2014
from left  :  Kim Himchan , Choi Junhong (ZELO) , Bang Yongguk , Jung Daehyun , Moon Jongup , Yoo Youngjae

own perceptions

for quite a long time 

blog has become my priority after few months ago

perhaps for the past 6 months or more or whatever 

lols , this is not a big issue though

as I grew and started to think seriously

I do think that my perceptions changed a lot

not that I didnt think before
but it grew a 'little' bit now

if you know who I am in real life

I am good at hiding of how serious my mind can go

because people always see kpopers that way perhaps?

idk

I just dont care about those perceptions

what I want to focus in this entry on what I saw about myself

me in the past and my current self

is a bit different in a sense that the way I see things are different

I really want to achieve what I want and try to accept things easier

if I do think that it is good to me

well , you can accept and reject things

because its you who are deciding what you want aite?

I always appreciate all advises that everyone gave me

it still depends on me whether to accept or not

currently , I have been exposed to a lot of situations
which makes me to think further
and from all advises that I learnt that I am still lack in a lot of things

for the past few weeks

I was busy training my juniors for debate competitions

thing is , I learnt a lot from them too

on how to critically think ; back as how I was before

I am improving by time

which is what I hope I can do well

since I am still learning

learning can be in a lot of ways

it could be from anybody

even from a baby

or an old man

anyone peeps

" never think that we are good enough "

thats what I thought now

because for me

NOBODY IS HIGHER OR LOWER IN EVERYTHING

thats what I always say to my juniors too

realizing that I started to realize that for quite a while

it thought me that I shouldnt be afraid to ask

or to show myself

since everyone is still learning

thats what I thought

idk you

but for sure that you have your own style to think about sth

tbh

idk how to express on how I see things differently

it is sth that you feel inside yourself

everyone has different approaches

and I hope 

that you find yours too

sometimes
I do take lyrics seriously too
since I know thats how I can be totally immersed in
I am trying to accept most things in more positive ways
trying to use what I have to be better
because for me
if I didnt help myself
I will just stay as how I am
I can never push people to accept on how I do most things
and why I am using music or whatever that I use to 
see things differently
well
it still up to you to decide on what you want

so I am leaving this entry from one of the song that 
gave me quite a deep touch in my heart
it might be a bit " hard " to some
but I really love this song
it thought me a lot

this is performed by B.A.P

and this is the Japanese version of it

the meaning is still the same as how the original version is

but the lyrics are changed a bit

but still the feeling the same for both versions ( for me )

I have shared the same thought about this song at AFF

well , some can adapt 

some is not

well as I said

it depends on the individual

nobody can force you to accept anything

I really appreciate that my bias group always thought me these thoughts too

thats lovely though

thank you so much for teaching me this B.A.P

I hope you can like this song and immersed with what

B.A.P is trying to say

the explanations about the song are everywhere

but it still on how you see it passed through your heart 
hehe

here I attach the Korean version of One Shot with eng sub

I am always happy to share anything about them ^^

and this is the original MV from TS Original Youtube channel

psst : 

other songs in this MV are 

1) PUNCH - played at the beginning of the MV

2) COMA - in the middle and the end of MV

thank you for reading :) 

thank you for everything

- sincerely , me -

140628 #HappyDaehyunDay , #BAPBangkokAttack and #Ramadhan2014

Salam

and hye to all readers

I know there ain't much people reading my blog

unless for some purposes

but it is okay

I just like posting things and bragging alone :P

so today is 28th June 2014

three hashtags that I have been using today

1) #HappyDaehyunDay

this is the hashtag that we use worldwide for Daehyun's birthday

I did posted mine at my instagram

byane , lately , I usually posted once and that's it

not that much spazzing like I was before :P

( freaking using hashtag to help )

well , for some reason , I turned that way

no blame or offences ><

so , Happy birthday Daehyun

lets fight together , you are at the same as me

so , lets be at the same par at least

don't leave me fighting chasing your achievements alone :)

thanks for being exist Daehyun-ssi :)

cr as tagged

2) #BAPBangkokAttack

this is a hashtag for B.A.P LIVE ON EARTH @ Bangkok

well , I do some updates at / cough / fan ______

and streaming the concert

thanks to the one who share the link

hugs to you

as tweeted by some fanbases

this LOE will be the last for this year

( sobs , please come to Malaysia next year T_T )

and Yongguk tweeted all the places

and write

" EARTH NEEDS YOU "

marks the end of LOE this year

that reminds me of the reason and theme for LOE

when they started the journey at the early year

( I missed when I spazz a lot about you B.A.P >< )

3 ) #Ramadhan2014

Alhamdulillah , Allah gives us chances to live

and be in this month of Barakah

Ramadhan Kareem !!! Allahu Akram !!!

( there are a lot of feelings talking about Ramadhan , how I survive surviving my school , the moment of Sahur , breakfasting , at home , schools , getting wishes , surviving all hardships with everyone , omg , tears tearing up , idk , I should be happy arriving at this month , I know , thanks to Allah , providing the chances letting us to keep on gaining His blessings , why we as His servants always take things for granted? why me as a person cant be good enough? As a Muslim , this is something that I am proud to say , that I am a Muslim , but when I think back , there are a lot of things that I need to do , to learn and be a better Muslim. Lets be a better Muslim neh? Lets work hard fighting for His blessing and Jannah ^^ )

p/s :

there are only few days left for next final exam paper

but I havent touch anything since the last paper

feel so blurr and a bit lost today

I need to get back to track ><

yesterday

I whatsapping with my brother

I miss him so much

we talk a lot though that was at 1pm +

haha , take care bro

I do talk to my older bro before my paper

its my routine before any paper

to call my mom , and my older brother

haha

glad that everyone at home are doing great

I need to study I think

People are going to start fasting tomorrow

lets .... get a lot of His blessings this months and afterwards :)

another touch about fandom

some might say 

" ouh wow , you are still talking about your fandom here"

or 

" cant you just forget about kpop and live your life "

if any

1) this is my blog

2) music is my interest

3)  I need to know ( for some official reason that I can't tell )

4 ) yes , I am a student , and I still need to concentrate on my studies

4) if what I did might concern about your life ( I am sorry ) but if not ( STFU )

so yeah , lets proceed

I am writing concerning to the issues related to babys

I wasn't there last night ( or even last few days )

due to all my works.

so I updated this late and get the info 

from some people that I am close with

and scrolling the whole thing on TL 

and seeing what is actually happening

tho not the whole thing but I do get some picture about it

I don't deserve much to talk about it

but you could refer about that here

Isa does point out good points ( in my opinion )

LINK : 

[ POST ] NOTICE: Concerning the "issue" between fans and TS/managers (Explications)

 http://www.bapyessir.com/2014/05/notice-concerning-issue-between-fans.html?showComment=1399622359857#c2325137860498755165 ( cr : bysfansite )

thank you

what you meant to me

hye

hello fellas

now is 7.09pm

8.09 KST 

I am here counting on Bang Yongguk's birthday

this is as well as my lovely sisters birthday

actually, I have been holding this feeling quite a while

for a week if i counted

its not that long ago but I know

this is a scar that will not heal in a month even

there is one time 

my housemate and I are watching one of B.A.P shows

we get all excited and laughing all around

talking about how cute they are

talking about how lovely their voice are

but our fangirling mode are up to some scene which 

I bet , other fans will feel the same

he is not my bias but I still feel that way
that we are happily tweeted it in our accounts
but .... someone misunderstood what we said
and say bad things behind us
thing is , I ask that person to watch the show so that she knows what we felt
but then I saw her tweeted that 
" idk what it is and i dont even bother watching it "

well be it

perhaps only matured people like both of us

who only can notice that

idk

what makes me feel this way is

I am so mad 

coz when I am talking around

some people are bashing me at the back

and worst is 

what she said was a spark for my friend too

I am so mad and sad at the same time

how could you say that to us? T_T

1) she doesnt want to watch it
2) she misunderstood us
3 ) she spread bad things about us

well bashing is something that we are used to face

but calling us a fan that is not supportive

really hurt our feeling

seriously 

it hurts a lot

I know 

some will say

" why you have to bother about these matter , its just a young girl who said that "

yes

but we both are so close to her

I can feel how my friend feel so hurt to what that person ( refer as A ) said

to the extend of leaving the fandom

you know

we both have been to kpop world for 5-6 years

yes , it might not be that long to some ( well idk )

but this is our first time being active so much

for a group

despite for my friend ( refer as Z ) who was a Primadonna before

but for me , I never stick to any fandom uptil now

and when this happen 

I am so mad that I am not even fangirling much anymore

there was once that I thought of leaving the fandom

but when I saw A tweeted that she doesnt care

then I think

if I back off , I will get nothing

so I decided to stay

but tbh

for the last whole week

I am trying to spazz around about B.A.P

but .. but 

( omg , I am crying )

I can just scroll down the timeline

and look at people spazzing

I FEEL NOTHING

NO EXCITEMENT AT ALL

I MISS THE MOMENT WHEN I AM FANGIRLING SO HARD

SERIOUSLY , THIS HURT ME SO MUCH !!!

yes

I am in 3 fandoms

but previously when others ask which fandom I am in

I will proudly say that I am a Babys

but now?

I can only say 

" oh hye , I am a cassie and JYJ fan , but I am a Babys too "

nam saying?


( its not that I am not a proud cassie before , its just that : I am a new cassie and a long time Babys ~ 
so hope you understand me and not making speculation about this matter ) 

why I am saying that I am so mad when A say to me and Z about not being supportive?

look

I know I am not doing much

not to Z either

but we both are trying so hard to support ot6

you never know how much we work hard 

to collect the money for FIRST SENSIBILITY album !!!

go on crazily voting

making a lot of accounts

crying for their first , second , third win

excitedly screaming for all the MV releases

even to Japanese PV

and to all merchandises

we even gather most things pertaining to B.A.P

( we have like , most merchandises? esp to things that we are afford on )

and excitedly discuss about saving money for LOE

though we know that we are not that capable
etc etc etc

Z and me are students

and our parents are not that type who will give us money to whatever that we want

means : we have to work on it ourselves

and you never know how the feeling is

when all the excitement go and LOST JUST LIKE THAT !!!

and when someone said that we are not a supportive fan?

I DO CURSE A LOT

TO THIS MATTER

I DO CURSE 

and I KNOW I AM NOT SOMEONE WHO WILL CURSE FOR NOTHING

means : what she said was really something that hurt us badly 

I still remember that I am making the second twitter account to spazz around

been suspended twice during 1004 era

tweet like a crazy girl , all in caps during the show

been crying for the slow wifi since I am waiting to watch the streaming

I WATCH ALL STREAM STAGE FOR GOD SAKE !!!

I AM NOT THAT CRAZY FAN GIRL

I KNOW MY LIMIT

I KNOW WHO B.A.P IS !

I HAVE BEEN TOO LONG IN THIS FANDOM 

OR PERHAPS NOT ( IF COMPARED TO SOME , IDK AND IDC )

BUT WE KNOW 

being in this fandom was something that I will not regret on

since B.A.P is a perfect idol

Babys are the best fandom

but now?

WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN THE FEELING IS NOT THERE ANYMORE?
mine is not 100% lost , but my friend?
I have been spazzing around with her
this sadden me a lot 

I know Babys are all good

that I admit , we are the best fandom

and both ( B.A.P and Babys ) are not someone that we should blame on

but for some reasons and some people

we lost our interest 70 - 90 %

down to the earth

in a blink

I AM TRYING HARD NOW

SERIOUSLY  t___________t

listening to all B.A.P 's songs back

thinking how I was before about being in this fandom

but I can't lie that ....

1) i need more time? or

2) i need to curse on everyone? or

3 ) or like what I am doing now? crying?

this hurt me so much

it really is 


( honestly I am crying so hard while writing this and listening to 1004 T_T )

you should see how excited I am about this 1004 comeback
ever since the picture teaser
up to the yongguk's gf issue
up to CSI interview
up to tweeting with them
up to the MV release
watching to 3M in few days
spreading all attentions to the whole fandoms about voting

I collect all videos , pictures

everything

even sub the CSI video for Babys to get it permanent

I do it volunteerly 

but , idk where all those spirit go

OMG , what should I do???

another thing

my twitter describe me

can see it here 

that all are now related to Jaejoong
yes I love him too
I love those groups that I am spazzing on
just ... this matter
omg , did you get ma point?

I do talk and spazz about B.A.P

but it will only be within minute

and then I am talking about other fandom

well I am surely do think that I need some time

...and about Z and me...

I know Z

I understand how she felt

and if she wants to leave the fandom

I know that she is right

and I know for me to stay is right

but I can't lie that 

B.A.P is just a memory that I will remember 

deep in my heart
until I get my feeling back

I am listening to B.A.P

and crying out hard

everyday

I know even if Z and me told the whole world about this

nobody will understand us

so lets just wait

what will happen

thanks a lot to all those people who always around to support us

I hope you support will not stop though Z ( or me even , idk ) leave the fandom or what not

and what hurt me most is...

i have been counting for my bias birthday for months

but this happened slightly when it is close enough

I wonder , how can I react

but one thing that I am sure of is

I AM A CASSIOPEIA + JYJ FAN + BABYS
it still stick that way

thanks for all these while

B.A.P is a great group

I will still be in this fandom no matter what

just ... the feeling of excitement 

lets just wait for it to come back

to conclude this

do listen to B.A.P 1004

the lyrics describe me a lot right now

thanks for reading

here , a present :)

me : innocent girl 
8.30 pm
140330

~ I am out ~

A long time FEVER

So hello there

it has been a long time right?

and I didn't post much about B.A.P too ~

._.smirk._.

now is 3.19am

14th of March 2014

it has been almost a week for me having this fever

alhamdulillah my body is getting better

but I still have a bad stomach

and I tend to vomit late at night

and just now I almost vomit

but I try to convince myself

well its so hurt that I almost cry 

since I feel like vomiting but nothing is coming out

nam mean? ( who know what I mean? )

~ thats how Yongguk says that phrase tho ~ lmao sempat :P

so I was running to find sth sour and eat ( I bought it this evening )

well it helps a lot

at least

actually this is my first long time fever that I had

( so far that I remember since usually I recovered after a day at least )

and this time

I have recovered

then I get it back

then I need to go for blood test

to make sure that I don't get dengue

( alhamdulillah ! I am not since my platelets are normal )

seriously I am so thankful to God

thanks Ya Allah

things around this time is

its only me who get fever in the house

I dont have appetite

then have to cook for myself

( but my housemates do it for me too when they are around , thanks to them )

got classes some more

the ( OMG-SO-DAMN-COLD-OF-LECTURE-HALL ) 

and bla bla bla

I can't drive and worst thing that 

there's only two people in the house who have car licenses

and only me who can drive in long distance

nam mean?

I feel like crying most time

I can't go back home since its is still chaos

on the whether at my place

( since they said that the IPU for today was 233???? )

so my brother said hold on first

since going back would make me worst

so I said its okay

but ehm

idk

yesterday I tried to drove

I reached the destination

then I got my fever back in the class

so I asked my friend to drive me back to my house

thanks a lot to them

I always burdened them with a lot of things

seremban also has started to have haze

thats what make everything worst

and Malaysian right now are still worried about

the lost plane of MH370

we are still updating from home

and Ya Allah

I am hoping that good news will come

Ya Allah please help us all

Amin

I know I am not a kiddo to cry here and there

showing how childish I am

but I am just letting it here

hoping things will get better to myself

since everyone is having their hard time right now

I never miss any class so far

alhamdulillah

( but I did skip this one event since I cant really get up that morning )

lmao one of my friend asked me to not come though I dont get MC

then I answered that I am not used to that

haha

byane

to further on

actually on first check up

I tried hard to lower down my body temperature

since I know I have a lot more to work on

and I dont want anything bad happened 

( yeah , if it is more than 3 days then it might go serious )

( but since I have checked then no worry , I am just having a normal fever )

So I am trying hard to fight it

it works

but idk since when my antibody got so weak

I think weather would be a reason too

but hey , Imagine

its very hot outside the campus ( since its hardly rain here )

then you came into a very cold lecture hall

then come out getting the sunlight again

nam mean?

then enter the car , air-cond again

all twisting up to the same place tbh

haha

( okay I thought to write just a little bit since I still have class tmr but ehmm ... XP )

so people has started with their masked on

( and rofl i have bought a masked with 'military' pattern on it , tried to wear it at campus

and all looking weirdly at me , lmaooooooo )

and we also drink a lot of water

seriously guys

take care of your health

I hope Allah can take care of my family for me

and all of you

I love you all so much

thanks for those who always helped me

there's a lot to mention

and to the owner of the house that I rent

I want to thank her a lot too

since she sent me to hospital

check me most times

making sure that I am getting better

waiting for my blood test

and so on

she bought me a lot of things

and gave me a lot of things

thank you so much aunty

May God bless you

okay I am so sleepy

I want to rest

I have taken me medicine 

hope Allah protect all of you

all of us

Malaysia

and worldwide

P/S:

1) I still watch B.A.P ( after I have recovered a bit but I am still lost a bit ) , 

I yelled a lot too ( lmao )

and since I have bad sore throat, 

I cant really talk for few days

not because of B.A.P ( if you misunderstood )

but because I am still not recovered

( I have a serious sore throat since I got this fever hee >< )

2 ) Mom , you porridge is the best

I cant copy your taste

this fever sickened me a lot T_T

at first I cant really walk properly even

I am trying hard to go to classes

I want to tell everything to you

but I dont want you to be worry

I know you know me a lot and

OMG

I miss you so much

I miss you most of my time here

but this daughter of yours will be strong no worry

I miss you T_T

so much

Allah uji aku sedikit

jadi aku kena sabar

bukankah seharusnya begitu? 

<3

(cr : ZELO96)

okay this is a bit continuation about B.A.P

so this picture posted by B.A.P ZELO ( he is there in the picture )

and OMG , I want all those Matoki dolls

TS please do LOE IN MALAYSIA PLEASE !!!!

LET B.A.P COME TO MALAYSIA AGAIN PLEASE !!!

Hari cuti tanpa cuti

LMAO

aku tak tahu mana dapat idea tajuk

tapi aku tulis je la mana yang datang dalam kepala

semalam aku tak boleh tidur

gatal tangan bancuh kopi jam 9 malam ke atas

memang tak boleh tidur lah kan?

sudahnya , hampir jam 3 pagi baru boleh lelap

tu pun sebab rakan di twitter dah marah

ahh , aku sayang mereka

siapa mereka?

aku punya dua akaun twitter

satu adalah akaun peribadi ( yang aku dah lama tak buka )

lagi satu adalah akaun sendiri juga ( cuma aku selalu buka , dan aku cakap perkara yang aku suka )

lebih peribadi kerana di sana aku lebih berbicara soal idola

haha

dan mereka adalah Babys

( kebanyakannya )

Babys adalah nama fandom untuk artis B.A.P

kami bagai satu keluarga besar

Babys + Babys

Babys + B.A.P

B.A.P + Babys

akaun di sana

aku lebih terbuka

kerana ramai kenalan dari luar yang aku kenali

dan aku rasa aku lebih rasa bebas di sana

tak semua mampu untuk terima apa yang kau minat

jadi apabila aku kumpul mereka yang sekepala

nah ~ tak habis cerita la jawabnya

semalam aku cerita pada mereka

aku tak boleh tidur

sebab minum kopi

mereka suruh aku buat itu dan ini

dan tidur setelahnya

sebenarnya aku rancang nak buat macam-macam waktu cuti ni

tapi tak semua terlaksana

kpop punya pasal

haha

februari ini

B.A.P membuat comeback 

dengan album FIRST SENSIBILITY

semua stages

semua awards

hampir semua aku akan cuba ikut

berdasarkan kelajuan internet di rumah

apabila ada LIVE stage

aku kena ikut streaming line

jadi terpaksa ikut waktu Korea

yang mana lebih satu jam awal

laju internet , laju la update

kalau tidak

ada la cara yang lain

yang panjang untuk di cerita kan

sekarang

aku tak tahu nak rasa apa

semester hampir bermula

aku tak berapa bersedia untuk masuk

dan hadir ke kampus baru

aku tak tahu kenapa

ada rasa sedih yang aku tak mampu cerita

ada rasa malas yang aku tak mahu bendung

maka aku habiskan sisa cuti ini menghabiskan saki tugasan yang ada

tunggu lah beberapa ketika

harapnya keadaan di tempat baru

memberi makna berbeda

sehingga lain entry

maaf

entry kali ini agak membosankan sedikit

P/S :

I am so mad with eyk for the sake 

that they talked bad about our boys

thanks

wishing you all the best *****