Plotting down...

Greetings

How are things?

I hope everyone are doing their best at whatever you guys do


- my sentences are here and there- sorry- I forget how to write well:P-

I have been spacing out from world for a long time

twitter and music have been a great place for me to hide

I am sure this isn't the best option

 coz lot of people will tell me I am wasting my time

Whilst people pacing up studying

I am losing myself up to all kpop updates and all

while I am trying to catching up my breathe for those things

updating wasn't the only thing that I am facing

for a long time 

music has been a great company to me

I don't deny that

most of you knew it

deep in me

there are a lot of things going on as well

which am sure everyone is facing this

the perks of when we know what we think we knew what we are facing

despite how small and big they are

for me , getting scolded and humiliated by someone that I havent meet is usual

for me it is big and it did give me a big impact

which am really thankful for.

for other people,

it is sth they dont bother coz its not theirs?

guess so? guess not? idk

its always cliche to come and talk about the same thing

of how people will eventually talking about themselves

well we are all human anyway

being selfish is what we do

different is

how many percentage we put on it

time flies and we can start to see

who within our circle show how much they care for you

as when I thought "ahh , she never does this and that"

at the end

she is the one running to me giving her best when am at my lowest point

me trying to adjusting my trust and respect to elders changed too

people started to see am able to do this and that

my respect in giving away my opinions

of how I say it and all

or should I say it or not

previously

I will come through each points and see how I can be "good" to them

but they ruin my respect and not respecting me at all 

making me to forget how being respectful is

I choose to stay away and do my stuffs

the best option so far

for someone that I dont know

in real world

I started to be ignorant and choose what I can do best at what I do only

even being a good listener is still within me

I started to doubt people again

and me with "new" thought taught me to be choosy

and ignore what I don't think necessary

but I don't take all these as good steps

I just focus on those who I think I get my focus on

even in wider scope 

I just think what I can reach

coz I am so tired 

to care about anyone else now

coz I guess am taking too much time before

I lost my time for myself

and I am not denying that

as in

I am ignoring people

but I keep on trying to be someone who can give sth

at the same time thinking about myself

and trying to do my best about others

see

am contradicting in every lines but guess thats how complicated 

things are when I am trying to compress what I felt for months in an entry :P

but well

in conclusion

am doing good

but tired

thats all

how about you?

if you say that I didn't ctc you

my twitter was terminated (coz lol me for forgetting to re-activate)

my youtube was terminated (I don't lie , I cry for this. damn rules. 812 subscribers T_T)

IG ( data sucks so I just come when my idols updating :P)

whatsapp ( I mute most groups. sorry not to sorry)

well

am just around my world and doing things on my own

am growing up well

hope you are too

to my close friends

that I haven't ctc for long

I am always praying the best for all of you

am just not into conversations much lately

but deep in me

I am always wishing that Allah will always protect you for me

I am sorry for being a lame and boring friend

take care

do well

live well

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

I hope in everything that we do

we will always think that we are not alone

I always forget this

hence why I am all miserable

do what makes you happy

if you intend them for good things

Allah will repay you back with good things

Thousand Years ...

Listening to Christina Perri's - A Thousand Years ; reminds me to a close friend of mine who has meet God long time ago. True that I was not her best friend but she was such an angel who will always create such a great memories to everyone around her. Her sudden death news made me freezed and I still remember that I can't even visit since I have test. The effect was not only to me but everyone who know her. Years and when my friends open up about her story , we will smile and stay in silent ; remember how great she was. She always showed to us that nothing is hard and always be happy with what we do.

I know Allah will always bless her soul. She deserved HIS paradise. For my dearest friend , thank you for being exist. I am so happy to know you once and we are all missing you.

For once , I am gonna let this song slide (I usually skip this song because it really reminds me to her) because although I am not that close to cry but honestly , your existence means something to us and we all know ; Allah loves you more than anyone in this world.

May Allah bless you and everyone around me always ~

Respect

Greetings.

It has been a while I think? Hope that everyone is doing fine. I am working hard here so ; I guess else are doing the same.

Leaving my trace here again ; to write about something that I thought I should share with all of you. It has been a month for me with classes. Everything is fine despite that not many from my batch are here anymore.
Being in the class with juniors is a total new thing for me. I guess most are so afraid with a super senior like me. Haha. //I am honestly don't know//

But what I want to write here is about the class. I really like my lecturers even most those who learnt with them said that they are demanding etc. I am honestly okay if people say that they are tired with classes etc , but I kinda not agree if someone talk bad about the one who teach them in front of me (adding up if the said person teach me too).  

/ idk why I feel that I shouldn't mess up with my words in this entry . Is it because this is a bad topic? >< /

Well. I am pretty sure most teachers will have their own way to teach us. And yes...even if we teach people , we will have certain demands and rules for our students to follow , no?

I guess I feel that with my trainees (debate). It might be a different level of teaching for me to compare , but perhaps the initial idea can be the same.

I guess , most teachers want the best for us. If we follow what they want and do our best , I don't think anyone will complain about you or what we do.

I am sorry if I am wrong , I just wanna share what I think is right for me to say. ^^

Lets try our best and may Allah ease our journey !

Best of luck everyone ! Take care ! Hope that everything will be fine ^^

apa yang anda perlu tahu tentang subjek semester 5 - UiTM AM225 ( simple descriptions )

Greetings

I will straight away to the point.

but before you read any further , this is done solely based on what I learnt.

what we have at Faculty now is arranged based on new academic arrangement.

( I just don't want to confuse anyone // just in case you are XP )

FYI , final year focusing on Top Management subjects. 

Thus , I personally can never say that any papers stated will be easy.

All you have to do is study , and yeah ; that's the most cliche thing that I can tell.

BEL 432 (Business Professional Correspondence)

This is an English paper. 

It ain't that hard (provided that you study it) , but it ain't easy either.

This paper concern more on how you are going to use proper

language when you are dealing with things related to business.

The final will be the same as other BEL papers.

ACC292 (Taxation I)

This paper shows the basic understanding about Taxation.

What I meant by basic is , it is really basic that I can tell you ; 

you might lost your way if you don't understand from the first topic to the end. 

Thus , make sure that you understand each topics , so that you won't confuse

yourself at the end. This is because , each topics will relate to next topic. Plus , the understanding of

this paper , will be continued to Taxation II paper during your Semester 6. 

ACC 394 (Company Account)

This paper is a whole new level of accounting ; compared to what you have learnt before.

The topics learnt are focusing on Account applied at Company.

basic accounting understanding is needed. Well , all I can say is , practice makes perfect.

Just , don't think that understanding debit and credit is enough to score this paper.

Remember when I said that ; this is the start of your final year.

THIRD LANGUAGE

Well , I don't think that I need to elaborate this anymore. 

You have two semesters with this subject already :P

ADM 609 ( Company Secretarial Practice I / CSP I )

I am sure you have heard this paper before and how crucial this paper is.

Yes , this is a killer paper ; and none of us are joking about it.

Not to say that you can never score ; there are people who scored A.

However , make sure that you study hard for this and do your exercise and readings.

Never ever ever think that you can score this paper at ease ; if you don't study.

Point is ; DO STUDY AND READ !

ADM 602 ( International Business Environment )

This paper will focus on how business is done for 

International affiliation & also on the environment around it. 

This paper needs a lot of outsource readings. 

Honestly , this paper is not as easy as how the title is 

(well , if you think that it is easy :3 ) .

The least that I can say is , be sure to focus in class

and listen to what your lecturers tell you in class. 

Do your preparation , read newspapers everyday and also , don't be lazy.

I don't really know how to describe this paper well ; but I hope that you guys will score :)

ELECTIVE PAPERS 

(Please refer to code in the picture above)

[ sorry that I can't help much on this part ]

ADS 659 // ENVIRONMENT

I am not taking this paper , so I don't much (like really , sorry)

but this paper will require you to handle an event (this might be the same as SOMA paper)

and the details of what you will learn , I am not sure what to write , afraid that it might be wrong.

ADS 503 // KM 

Since my housemate is taking this paper , I can write a bit about this. 

Well , this paper will tell you about how to manage the knowledge? XD

Okay , sorry , I can't write much too about this ><

ADM 653 // SOCSO

Well , this paper will focus on the rights that you have when you are working.

This also include the benefit that you will get through it. Well , when we work , there will

be medical benefit etc etc. Thus , we will learn those things in this paper. 

Also on what are the entities that related to it.

As a reminder , for Taxation I and CSP I 

be sure to pass these papers , or else it will be hard to take Tax 2 and CSP 2 papers.

Also , please don't play around people. 

If you still don't realize that you are in your final year already , 

graduating on time might be in your dream.

Lastly ,

be sure to remember that we are studying because of HIM

and be sure to correct your intention of why you are studying.

Set a goal in your life and embrace it well.

I am wishing you all the best.

Best of luck :)

A/N : I am so sorry if I don't help much. and ahh , 

about notes , I will suggest you to use a new one instead of what your seniors have used.

Like really. because usually lec will give you new notes every sem // depends //

and for past years , am sure you know where to download them. 

BEST OF LUCK :)

TRIANGLE ~ between love and hate

So there are people updating how great their Eid is

and here I am updating how 

I have a date with my Korean Drama XP

I have downloaded this drama long when it was released (2014)

too much affections for this drama

this is the first drama that Kim Jaejoong is the lead of all dramas he was in

I watched it half way 

and decided to keep it at paused due to my studies

as at a certain concern 

this drama needs more focus to understand it

adding up with the casino knowledge it in

well , its a new view to learn about

I would love to give all stars to this drama

not because it is bias

but because of the plot

just that , it concerns you with 26 episodes

thus , it might take some stars from your ranking
depending on the love level for the plot

however

even if I said that I like the plot so much

there are certain improvements that they might want to take into concern

of how slow they make the story be

though I understand that this drama involved so many thriller scenes

they don't have to focus much on the emotion much
although ... well , I have no right to talk much about this

however , the drama is still deserved a thumbs up

anyway

these are the OST of the drama that I can attached

Happy Eid and have a good day everyone ~

FULL OST LIST --> TRIANGLE OST




KIM JAEJOONG - THOUGH I HATE IT

KIM JAEJOONG - COINCIDENCE

THE HIDDEN - ONLY YOU

Scrolling Down ~

It is kind of funny when I look into all my old entries
and see how I was complaining about things
and sometimes I pitied myself for that
it ain't funny but well , perhaps I am weird to look at it as it is

well I guess updating at phone makes myself a better person in developing the ideas
now I am lost of what to write

as I scrolled down
I can see how I treat myself differently to different situations and sites
how you have to be really thoughtful when you want to update your tweets
how you have to be really peculiar when you have to sub the videos
how to credit things
how to make sure that you feel good about posting things

things about internet and social medias are sometimes make me feel tired
as in there are too much of limitations that you need to hide
as to secure yourself and others
that is also a way for others to see you or the one that you are trying to fake of
but sometimes you showed the real side of you

well not much points to ponder but that's how it is
sounds complicated lols?
I am really impressed of how people can show themselves through medias
well , certain cultures or terms might limiting someone to do so
but I love to watch and read people's opinion on sites
its pretty interesting

when we tend to listen to others and see how they think about something
we might see things in a better or different perspectives
perhaps that is one of the ways to be better , or worst , idk
it depends on you of how to take it to your life as well

tbh , idk what am I writing right now , haha
anyway , I guess the way I am writing is improving from the past
but I guess I need to put down certain insecurities to myself and be more open with
somehow a better side to show
I guess when you go back to entries back when I start this blog
I was more open in sharing of things that I like and what I think about something
mostly now , my entries are more to how I see things from my perspective
but as I read it back
it aint helping me to be better , but I do feel bad at the moment I wrote those entries but well...
idk , this just sounds so complicated
sometimes I feel bad for lot of reasons

I have a long journey to go
I need to learn a lot
as I go through those entries
I know somehow
I have grown up a lot

I will try to be better in the future
and change my perspective to a better view as well
hoping that this wont be just another wish lists
but something that I will keep on paying attention on

idk if anyone read this that they will understand what I am trying to write
but lols , if you do , you are awesome , haha

until next time ~

☆

3.19AM
guess my heart wanna stare and read the books but my body can't cooperate with it ...much?

Having exam yesterday for taxation 2 paper.
So basically I am sacrificing part of my sleep but nay , I always sleep nearly 3 or 4 am though. Doesnt make any difference much.
The difference is , there is exam and I kinda use my brain more for serious matter (now this is serious XP)

So 2 papers in a row
And both start by 9am and 8.30am respectively.
So yeah. Hoping for the best
CSP 1 for tomorrow.
May Allah ease.

*tried to gain energy and mood to study and I gained it when I am nearly sleepy. Haha. Hope everything's gonna be okay.*

Good night world.

More spaces?

As I realize more about how selfish you are towards me
I take a lot of steps to be positive about it
I am sorry
Yes
I am not good
But I guess I have been considering too much

I tried to be good
But you treat me like I am nothing to you
Yes
I am not good to you all the time
This feeling might be bias
But sorry
I have started to hate you
So much
That I can only pray
That you will feel the same way that I feel now
And I really wanna see your face when you feel that
When others do the same to you
How painful it is

I can curse all I might to your face
But since I still have this one tiny respect to you
I won't do that
Or you might regret
Knowing me
As a person
Because
You never know the real me
Of how cruel this hidden side of me
That I wont show but to a bi#*h like you

Wish you all the best for your life
Go and be with that arrogant self of yours
I wont pay any attention to you
Anymore
Though it might hard on me
Since I care so much
That I feel so depressed right now

I just need to write this down as I dont want this to engulf me so much. All I want is to be alone and have some space for myself to sort things out. Thats all.

Insecurities

You know , people always say that it is hard to handle girls , but for me , it applies to everyone. Why? because everyone ; DO HAVE THEIR OWN INSECURITIES !

Well , who the hell doesnt? isn't it? sometimes , it comes to a point that you feel so frustrated about yourself and be so undefined about it. I am writing and thinking about the thoughts for quite a while ; but it usually come and go. This is mixed. I am unsure when this kind of thoughts come to me , or when it want to freely go. Bullshit thoughts of mine. Alright , let's just let it be.

I am implying all the insecurities that I have , into what people call as being "secured" and "protective" to myself. I am realizing that I am becoming more "cruel" and starting to ignore what people think and feel about me (excluding my family of course) . I mean , for some people , being detach is necessary , for me ; it is annoying. For some , spending time together 24/7 is a must , for me it is not. Texting for the whole day? ha-ha-ha ,  i can't do that (but i can do the talk for hours /idek why XP).

point is , I am starting to focus to myself , and start to ignore  others. it might be good , it might not. I know , I am starting to hurt others . Whilst I am trying to be rational , I am thinking this selfish point of mine that none ever think of how selfish they were to me. I a trying to protect this point to my head. I am there , I was there , I felt it. 

But , it might be irrational or childish to say this , there is always a perk where you have reach your limit , that you can't be considerate anymore. For how nice I was , there is always this bad thought of mine , to just let them go and be within myself alone. I don't want to be alone (well , who want it to be that way anyway) , but I cant deny that I sometimes , need a space for myself. IDEK what is that for , I just ... tired that sometimes I feel that people use me , and sad thing is , I DONT FUCKING REALIZE THAT HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY EYES !

it hurts me , of how "nice" I was , of how others take it to their advantage , of how I was so naive. Well , I cant also deny that they DO help me , to some points that I am so grateful , but idk , perhaps I am just ... a bad girl.

Question is ; how bad , is enough , to be define as bad? *sigh 

Heart

by no reason
or any said arguments

its funny
how I can tell this 
and said nothing
but it is suddenly
pacing 
to be that way

but 
I am glad
of how this happened
between us

the untold story
of unknown souls

Always

of all circumstances 
I am always happy
to love someone like you
and I don't even realize
that I have this ever since school

this comfortable feeling
this thought
these prayers
those comforting phrases
those calm stares
those "whatever" smiles of yours
I have always feel comfortable and save
to live within

and this feeling
I want to let it alive
within words
and smiling to you
like how we both always do

this is bluffing
I am not perfect
neither you
you always tell me that
and accept me for who I am

the time difference and distance
make me appreciate things a lot
even we cant really meet up
I know that you are always there
under HIS blessings 

thank you
I am always happy
to be me
with you

these words
are for you
for someone who always open up his thoughts for me
because , I miss you
a lot

hope to meet you soon. when you are here. landed on the same land where we both stand. and be weird together , again. okay , another bluff is coming. whatever. people always ask me of why I like or love someone weird like you and there is me with .... " damn , idek " ><

but , for now ...

Of when I thought it was all my fault and put a blame of why I am extending my years
then I come to a thought that 
those are only two papers out of 6 or 7 subjects that I took last semester

I should be more grateful
and say Alhamdulillah instead
He wants me to see things in a different view
in a more appropriate feels
of what He is trying to test me

I am still not pure in getting things done
and still lack here and there
perhaps 
I am just not that ready
to face the world
after I finished my studies
so He makes me appreciate these times around
and be happy with the journey

I should have this thought 
earlier than what I am doing now

I might change the thought
but for now
I am happy to think about it this way 

^^

while ...

those who always be with me
knew how debate is so close to me (always say that I want to quit but I am still in /tch)
(same to kpop lalalala /shut my mouth up)


I dont always have sweet memories
along the way
I know I aint that good still
while debating
(but I shout a lot while debating / like really  /  I am serious  /  I think  /   whatever)

idk
this might be the least thing that I could give 
for people around me
shouting and yelling  :

"yah speaks louder"
" please make your speech more structured , I cant understand you "
" I do it this way , but still messy but I think this way will do? "

trying to scold but still not good enough
its still something that I cant get away to laugh from about myself

but I know
being scolded in front of others how my english was sucks before
being separated from your teammates for your performance was not good before
being isolated just because I speaks english
being scolded in front of juniors
crying watching teammates won a championship
etc

these make me appreciate how debate has brought up to me 
uptil now

sometimes
I wonder
should I stay positive 
or vice versa
about the line


too complicated for a little thinker like me

L
O
L

Longer pace ~

I know that I have to take a longer journey in study
So I am extending my year
and carrying 6 subjects this semester
and another 3 next semester

so yeah
See ya everyone
Good luck with yours
I am going to do my best in mine

Do well
Dont play around (I wonder if anyone will still will)

See you when I am becoming what I am dreaming of

Mata Ne ~ 

Thank You :)

That was a long duration of time though

6 hours

I am pretty sure that we haven't meet and talked 

for such a long time

really

I really do miss talking to you

and I am glad seeing that we are both doing so well

and I am glad that we can always stay this way

up till now

idk what to say

but I am always feel thankful

to know you

to be a good friend to you

to listen to you

to get this trust from you

thank you so much

V//////V

its not only for you

but for all of my best friends

good friends

friends

etc

those who always care and listen to me

and be there when I really need them

I am always feel glad to know all of you

I know that I cant offer much

but as long as I breath

I cant promise to be good

but if you are good to me

I will try and give out my best

to do the same

but that is the least that I can do

biggest thing that I can do is

to pray and hope the best for all of you

that HE will always protect

and bless your lives

now

and forever

I am a human

I will die one day

thus

along the way

I hope that I will always do good things to others

and receive good things too ^^

hope that HE can let that happened

for a long time 

Keep on...

Of how much I think I have worked hard
Of how much I think I have sacrificed all efforts
TBVH...It is not enough

This journey
This life path
Allah has gave me a chance to correct it back

As a servant...what have I done?
As a daughter...what have I gave?
As a friend...what can I offer?
As a human...what could I give?

I am exist for reasons
Though I know I am a bit selfish...
I know that I exist for something...

HE KNOWS

I have lot to learn
I have lot to correct
I know I am in no position to give others advices
I hope that Allah will give strength for me...

To keep on...

Down

I think I am rarely show hate on sth obviously especially if it comes for education thingy.

I have a paper tomorrow and I think I feel demotivated seeing the carrymark. Been holding and scolding myself to study but I just stare at the page blankly.

Till I chat with my friend "I feel like throwing my books now" and she was all worried.

I am okay. But I am just mad at myself that I didnt work hard enough. I know that I didnt but I cant. I am giving too much excuses for this which I should put myself in no position to advice others. It comes to that way.

I cant sleep but not utilizing it for study lalala. Lot of insecurities but I just need to better which require another hardwork done. Why am I so lazy like this? I hate this side of me.

I hope that I can pass my paper. Hope that my friends will do well too. Company account...thanks for being exist.

Me - 5.46 am
Exam paper at 9.00 am

Good night 🙇