Insecurities

You know , people always say that it is hard to handle girls , but for me , it applies to everyone. Why? because everyone ; DO HAVE THEIR OWN INSECURITIES !

Well , who the hell doesnt? isn't it? sometimes , it comes to a point that you feel so frustrated about yourself and be so undefined about it. I am writing and thinking about the thoughts for quite a while ; but it usually come and go. This is mixed. I am unsure when this kind of thoughts come to me , or when it want to freely go. Bullshit thoughts of mine. Alright , let's just let it be.

I am implying all the insecurities that I have , into what people call as being "secured" and "protective" to myself. I am realizing that I am becoming more "cruel" and starting to ignore what people think and feel about me (excluding my family of course) . I mean , for some people , being detach is necessary , for me ; it is annoying. For some , spending time together 24/7 is a must , for me it is not. Texting for the whole day? ha-ha-ha ,  i can't do that (but i can do the talk for hours /idek why XP).

point is , I am starting to focus to myself , and start to ignore  others. it might be good , it might not. I know , I am starting to hurt others . Whilst I am trying to be rational , I am thinking this selfish point of mine that none ever think of how selfish they were to me. I a trying to protect this point to my head. I am there , I was there , I felt it. 

But , it might be irrational or childish to say this , there is always a perk where you have reach your limit , that you can't be considerate anymore. For how nice I was , there is always this bad thought of mine , to just let them go and be within myself alone. I don't want to be alone (well , who want it to be that way anyway) , but I cant deny that I sometimes , need a space for myself. IDEK what is that for , I just ... tired that sometimes I feel that people use me , and sad thing is , I DONT FUCKING REALIZE THAT HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY EYES !

it hurts me , of how "nice" I was , of how others take it to their advantage , of how I was so naive. Well , I cant also deny that they DO help me , to some points that I am so grateful , but idk , perhaps I am just ... a bad girl.

Question is ; how bad , is enough , to be define as bad? *sigh