Saturday, December 29, 2012

that little difficult things


12.39 am
29 / 12 / 12
few more days before 2013
new years
tapi aku x rasa apa pun
sebab exam final nie lagi terbayang bayang di ingatan

and today
i studied at the library
from 11 am to 8pm
well xla exactly semua tu utk belajar
ada jugak laa keluar makan , solat apa semua
but yeah
am soooooo tired
doing the questions and stuff
studying during study week when everyone is not around 
is not helping
much
but it does help me

and now why am I here?
I cant sleep
am so in tense
and everything came out from my mind
even i know its not worth to think about

that beautiful past time 
which full of colors
also painted with all the dots that makes it blur

***

you know buddies
when you have a lot of problems
but you cant tell others about that?
coz you know they wont understand?

do you know when 
at the same time
you also hide it to protect others
the person that you love?

am not that strong
the person who understand it
is far far away from me
am not saying that
 that person is the only who understand me
but
at certain level
some people cant interpret what we meant of what we say
coz the certain stories are meant to be kept
strongly within

you know when people are aiming so high for their pointer
people are working out enough for that
am aiming
but stuck at the middle
am afraid
that i couldnt make it
to get dean list
but i know i can do it
nampak x permainannya di situ?

you know when you have that someone that 
you want to hold on to
suddenly disappear right in front of your eyes
not dead
but lost
in the light
and that hurt me the most
being the closest person
but that's the real person
who is far away running from me

this feeling is awesome
when you can cry out a lot
suddenly
when you are so tired

urgh
this is awesome
like damn serious
thumbs up for this
-_-

sometimes i say to myself
that other people are having sth yg lagi teruk dari aku
nie baru sikit
jadilaa orang yg bersyukur sikit kan
tapi
tapi 
tapi
ehm

its not easy to act strong in front of others
when inside
you are the weakest
cry out loud when others are not around
semua pun camtuh kan?
rasa x perasaan tuh?
*saja kunun nak kongsi perasaan

thanks if you read this entry
i know i need to be strong
and this might be a way to lose the tie
and lay down freely

*i've tried to sleep for an hour
just 
perhaps i wanna sleep now

doakan i berjaya
i senantiasa doakan kalian semua
insha Allah
doa semoga kita jadi tabah
dan mendapat keredhaan Allah
selamanya

May Allah bless us always 
and ease our journey

p/s : 
nobody's perfect 
sometimes when you see that someone look so strong outside
he/she has that someone who take care of their hearts

when you say you have every single person around you
only Allah and you yourself knows
which one is the fake facts and which one is real

take care buddies
wassalam 

1.08 am
29 / 12 / 2012

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